Beached Whales
They're big.
They're smelly.
They're either dying, dead, decomposing, or a combination of two (except, of course, dying and dead).
And there's no easy way to get rid of them.
Yes, folks, if you are at all familiar with corporate IT, you may have laughed at one. You may have cried because you were personally crushed by one. Either way, you can't escape the Beached Whale Project.
It starts out so tiny and cute. But before long, it's hoovered up more than its fair share of the natural resources. Uncomfortable bloating causes an inability to focus on normal life operations.
Having depleted the supply of resources in its immediate surroundings, it wanders, confused and aimless. It forgets why it got so big to begin with. All it takes is one bad wave, and it's on its side, unable to save itself from certain death.
A crowd begins to gather. At first, great publicity prompts a sympathetic and hopeful public outpour. Maybe something can be done!
But after the cranes topple and the backhoes falter, annoyance sets in. The public gets bored.
And after the pong starts wafting, the crowd disseminates, unwilling to be associated with the rot. Scavengers settle on the outside, picking at the odd resources peeling away. Decaying morale eats away from the inside.
"Hey, guys, I'm still alive, you know!" it whimpers.
Soon, the pong turns into a stench and the nearby denizens demand action. But the authorities are stumped. They can't can the thing - there's too bloody much of it. They can't deny its existence - people can smell it for miles. And they can't just leave it - it gives the place a bad reputation.
"Guys...? I'm still here!" it cries.
Nope. The only thing to do is to dust it off loud and proud. Pack it full of TNT and blast its blubbery goodness into parts small enough for the scavengers to scuttle off with.
"Oh dear..."
The fallout may crush the odd bystander or two, but at least it'll be over quickly. And besides, it's cheap and thoroughly entertaining. It may just work for IT projects better than it did for this poor fellow.
They're smelly.
They're either dying, dead, decomposing, or a combination of two (except, of course, dying and dead).
And there's no easy way to get rid of them.
Yes, folks, if you are at all familiar with corporate IT, you may have laughed at one. You may have cried because you were personally crushed by one. Either way, you can't escape the Beached Whale Project.
It starts out so tiny and cute. But before long, it's hoovered up more than its fair share of the natural resources. Uncomfortable bloating causes an inability to focus on normal life operations.
Having depleted the supply of resources in its immediate surroundings, it wanders, confused and aimless. It forgets why it got so big to begin with. All it takes is one bad wave, and it's on its side, unable to save itself from certain death.
A crowd begins to gather. At first, great publicity prompts a sympathetic and hopeful public outpour. Maybe something can be done!
But after the cranes topple and the backhoes falter, annoyance sets in. The public gets bored.
And after the pong starts wafting, the crowd disseminates, unwilling to be associated with the rot. Scavengers settle on the outside, picking at the odd resources peeling away. Decaying morale eats away from the inside.
"Hey, guys, I'm still alive, you know!" it whimpers.
Soon, the pong turns into a stench and the nearby denizens demand action. But the authorities are stumped. They can't can the thing - there's too bloody much of it. They can't deny its existence - people can smell it for miles. And they can't just leave it - it gives the place a bad reputation.
"Guys...? I'm still here!" it cries.
Nope. The only thing to do is to dust it off loud and proud. Pack it full of TNT and blast its blubbery goodness into parts small enough for the scavengers to scuttle off with.
"Oh dear..."
The fallout may crush the odd bystander or two, but at least it'll be over quickly. And besides, it's cheap and thoroughly entertaining. It may just work for IT projects better than it did for this poor fellow.
posted by Little Green Potato at 9:03 PM
1 Comments:
The whale that swims against the tide is the whale most often beached.
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