Them and Us

In my more impressionable days, it seemed as though the problem was very much the classic Us (ranks) Against Them (management). These days, I'm more likely to say that it is definitely a Them And Us problem - in the most literal sense possible.

They cannot plan their way out of a paper bag;
They are blindly committed to Waterfall, talk RUP, and vilify Agile;
They are motivated more by perception and appearance than by doing good honest work;
They abhor the idea of users being part of a software team;
They believe employees should put up or shut up;
They are completely ignorant of the goings-on in the ranks;
They haven't coded or authored analysis documents for decades (or sometimes ever);
They believe that bigger is better;
They think that the users should be lucky to have them running the show;
They are willing to lie, cheat, steal, bury bodies, and be otherwise dishonest to look clean;
They talk about collaboration but force decisions down the chain;
They do not see value in efficiency or solid, high-quality work, if they can see it at all;
They cannot detect poor-quality work, or do not act to remove or correct it;
They are afraid of change and criticism;
They position themselves more with the management above them than with the product, clients, or people they are meant to care for;
They fill days with meetings which mostly produce no results;
They avoid responsibility and accountability wherever possible;
They make up project plans to reflect current schedules, so everything is always on time;
They threaten and intimidate employees who show signs of discomfort;
They are incapable of independent and reasoned thought.

We are infused with barely competent, confused programmers and analysts;
We are more intent on gaming the system and looking good than perfecting our skills;
We have in our ranks vicious liars who instigate and divide us;
We gossip, mutter, and plan against each other;
None of us are willing to stand up and be honest to management or one another;
We are filled with people who think they know everything, whether or not they do;
We don't have the power to enact truly effective changes to the team;
We claim to collaborate but form socially exclusive cliques which are obvious in the work environment;

Above all, we are so wracked with anger and frustration that we believe the only problem is with Them.

Forming a united front with the complainers has lost all appeal to me, when it seems obvious that the failings within the ranks themselves contribute in significant measure to the fractious team environment.

Patient, heal thyself. Only then can we baseline exactly how bad they are.