Hairzilla
On Sunday, a friend from earlier adventures at Frying Pan, Inc. phones to catch up.
Apparently, Hairzilla is at large again. Imagine, if you will, Howard Stern...
...mincing determinedly across the carpet tiles in kitten heels and pearls.
She's livid. She's not going to sign off your change request analysis, and she's going to tell you precisely why. Not ONLY did you DARE to use Tahoma 12 Point instead of Tahoma 11 Point, she'd also like you to replace all occurrences of the word "advisor" with "adviser." And while you're at it, why are you using hyperlinks to make things easier for others to read, when she only ever prints out the documents on paper? Moron.
The next day, she's back, flustered, twitching, and stuttering. This time, she demands to know why you put in a data mapping and business rules into the requirements.
Why yes, you say, you are a business analyst. Employed to translate business needs into a description for technical implementation. If the system should not display rows with zero amounts, perhaps, you say, you should let the offshore developers know this.
Hairzilla shakes her frizz sadly and wonders how you manage to survive with such a deteriorated mental capacity. This is not your remit. You are NOT to be writing documents telling offshore which pieces of data go where on the screens. You are NOT to be revealing to offshore the origins or meanings of the information to be presented.
Instead of taking it like a good analyst should, you ask: How, then, will the developers get it right?
She spins on her Pradas and calmly explains: You do little draw-y thingys of screens. Offshore will produce them in any order they like, with any behavior they happen to like at the time, and put them into production whenever they like. If the users happen to notice things they weren't expecting, they can write bug reports. Then offshore will be told to fix it.
If the users cancel their subscriptions because of it, even better! Fewer bug reports!
As she stomps off, wafting Britney Body Spray in her wake, your thoughts turn, slowly, to a Monster of a different kind.
Apparently, Hairzilla is at large again. Imagine, if you will, Howard Stern...
...mincing determinedly across the carpet tiles in kitten heels and pearls.She's livid. She's not going to sign off your change request analysis, and she's going to tell you precisely why. Not ONLY did you DARE to use Tahoma 12 Point instead of Tahoma 11 Point, she'd also like you to replace all occurrences of the word "advisor" with "adviser." And while you're at it, why are you using hyperlinks to make things easier for others to read, when she only ever prints out the documents on paper? Moron.
The next day, she's back, flustered, twitching, and stuttering. This time, she demands to know why you put in a data mapping and business rules into the requirements.
Why yes, you say, you are a business analyst. Employed to translate business needs into a description for technical implementation. If the system should not display rows with zero amounts, perhaps, you say, you should let the offshore developers know this.
Hairzilla shakes her frizz sadly and wonders how you manage to survive with such a deteriorated mental capacity. This is not your remit. You are NOT to be writing documents telling offshore which pieces of data go where on the screens. You are NOT to be revealing to offshore the origins or meanings of the information to be presented.
Instead of taking it like a good analyst should, you ask: How, then, will the developers get it right?
She spins on her Pradas and calmly explains: You do little draw-y thingys of screens. Offshore will produce them in any order they like, with any behavior they happen to like at the time, and put them into production whenever they like. If the users happen to notice things they weren't expecting, they can write bug reports. Then offshore will be told to fix it.
If the users cancel their subscriptions because of it, even better! Fewer bug reports!
As she stomps off, wafting Britney Body Spray in her wake, your thoughts turn, slowly, to a Monster of a different kind.
posted by Little Green Potato at 8:56 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home