vole.icio.us
The campaign against the voles has begun. My weapon of choice:
However, I am unworthy of wielding such a widow-maker. It's more likely to be a recipe for DIY amputation than anything else, and I haven't got free healthcare anymore.
Anyway, we're talking about the person who stood for nearly 20 minutes in front of the Yummy Rodent Death Pops, frozen by moral debate - thus proving that while I might fancy myself an assassin, my aspirations far exceed my jelly-wobbly nerve. So I've stuck to the tried and possibly-true castor oil repellent.
If what I read on the internet and the back of the packet is correct, as the pellets dissolve into the earth and coat the voles' food sources, causing them gastric upset. Death, no can do. Next best thing: dishing up the equivalent of a really heinous burrito left in the sun for at least a couple days.
The theory goes that once the stinkers figure out that they regain regularity outside the bounds of our garden, they'll stop frequenting our hot dog stand and tell their friends too.
So far, it seems to be working.
I couldn't help but think, though, that this is the exact same approach that companies deploy on decent folk who try to get stuff done in an efficient manner. Want to round a number to three decimal places instead of two? Write up an issue! Discuss it with a Change Management Board! If the change is allowed, get approval from the user. Forget about phoning them up and dealing with it in 30 seconds - you have to get carefully worded proof in written format approving the change.
Every piece of unnecessary process installed in a company equates to sprinkling a bag of them Gassy Gurgling Granules all over the turf. Employees who just want simple jobs to stay simple start getting grumbly bums, and edge towards the door.
Yeah, blame it on the audits. Blame it on the shareholders. Blame it on the blame game. Whatever it is, it's a crackdown on good, old-fashioned trust for employees, users, and management. Corporate systems fail to be oiled by the honest social currency of trust, and I'm desperately curious why. Is it because people in general have become inherently less trustworthy? Or is it because companies of a certain size must necessarily be so risk-averse that they are willing to sacrifice productivity and innovation?
Unfortunately, it seems that life mimics the garden yet again. Those voles who decide to move on from our yard will populate other yards, where they will very likely experience more dodgy cuisine. And so on and so on, until they die of exhaustion.
I hear Google has a very good cafeteria, though.*
*I wonder if they serve vole-au-vents?
However, I am unworthy of wielding such a widow-maker. It's more likely to be a recipe for DIY amputation than anything else, and I haven't got free healthcare anymore.Anyway, we're talking about the person who stood for nearly 20 minutes in front of the Yummy Rodent Death Pops, frozen by moral debate - thus proving that while I might fancy myself an assassin, my aspirations far exceed my jelly-wobbly nerve. So I've stuck to the tried and possibly-true castor oil repellent.
If what I read on the internet and the back of the packet is correct, as the pellets dissolve into the earth and coat the voles' food sources, causing them gastric upset. Death, no can do. Next best thing: dishing up the equivalent of a really heinous burrito left in the sun for at least a couple days.
The theory goes that once the stinkers figure out that they regain regularity outside the bounds of our garden, they'll stop frequenting our hot dog stand and tell their friends too.
So far, it seems to be working.
I couldn't help but think, though, that this is the exact same approach that companies deploy on decent folk who try to get stuff done in an efficient manner. Want to round a number to three decimal places instead of two? Write up an issue! Discuss it with a Change Management Board! If the change is allowed, get approval from the user. Forget about phoning them up and dealing with it in 30 seconds - you have to get carefully worded proof in written format approving the change.
Every piece of unnecessary process installed in a company equates to sprinkling a bag of them Gassy Gurgling Granules all over the turf. Employees who just want simple jobs to stay simple start getting grumbly bums, and edge towards the door.
Yeah, blame it on the audits. Blame it on the shareholders. Blame it on the blame game. Whatever it is, it's a crackdown on good, old-fashioned trust for employees, users, and management. Corporate systems fail to be oiled by the honest social currency of trust, and I'm desperately curious why. Is it because people in general have become inherently less trustworthy? Or is it because companies of a certain size must necessarily be so risk-averse that they are willing to sacrifice productivity and innovation?
Unfortunately, it seems that life mimics the garden yet again. Those voles who decide to move on from our yard will populate other yards, where they will very likely experience more dodgy cuisine. And so on and so on, until they die of exhaustion.
I hear Google has a very good cafeteria, though.*
*I wonder if they serve vole-au-vents?
posted by Little Green Potato at 8:36 PM
3 Comments:
I'm very impressed to see you plumbing the depths of vole-centred puns.
I'm also relieved to hear that you are encouraging your uninvited guests to move on, rather than following current policy by rounding them up and disposing of them without fair trial. Guantanavole Bay, if you will.
Anyway...
The question is, who really wants to be the top vole? If you're exceptionally good at eating plants all the other voles hate you. You'll also probably find a vole higher up the pecking order getting most upset with you for your stem-eating prowess. You're likely to get stronger and bigger than him/her, and probably threaten their lofty (a relative term for voles) position.
Is the main problem in your work travails that you don't get credit for what you do? I have absolutely no doubt that you are very good at your job, but when you do good work is it you or your team/boss that gets the credit? Are your colleagues and boss happy that you're there or do they hope you'll move to the next garden and chew other flowers?
Maybe you are a big vole on a small lawn. That sweetcorn field could be just across the road.
(Apologies. There has been a lot of sun in my rainy country recently and it may be affecting me...)
Well, as far as my uninvited garden guests are concerned, I've learned one thing: there's edible, and then there's edivole.
Ba-dum.
As for being at the top of the totem vole, it may just depend on the quality of the pack. If, as you say, the others are rabid, inbred creatures prone to vi-volence - sure, probably best to leave them behind.
On the other hand, if one finds cohorts worth caring for, perhaps one's tactics might be different. One might be less tempted to treat one's career as a re-vole-ving door.
I don't notice that the heat has changed your ranting at all. You still come up with some pretty incredivole allusions.
Perhaps you should join me working in the voleuntary sector...
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